Dying Without Regrets
Actress, Jane Fonda, 87, recently shared one of her fears. “I am afraid of dying with lots of regrets.”
Bonnie Ware, an Australian nurse, wrote a best-selling book, “The Top 5 Regrets of Dying People.” Her book has been read by more than a million people in 32 languages.
Regret is a harsh and callous word for us. The word can bring up emotions in us that seem hard to understand and accept. Imagine today is your last day on earth. If you were on your deathbed today and you were reflecting on your past, would you have regrets?
So, how do we approach our deaths we no regrets? How should we live so that we have no doubts, qualms, nor misgivings about the life we have lived?
First, remember that the way we have lived is the way we will die. Once the course of life is set, it becomes harder and harder to change direction as the years roll on. If we have lived in a constant state of anxiety or anger, we will die that way. If we have lived without Jesus and the church, we will die that way, as well.
Second, decide you want to live a meaningful life. Live a life true to yourself, not the life others expected of you. Stay in touch with friends. Don’t allow work to consume you at the expense of quality time with your family. Develop a strong prayer life. Dig into the Bible and become a student of Scripture. Help more people. Be generous.
Third, take care of business and legal matters. I’m talking about having a will, an advanced directive, power of attorney, and updated beneficiaries on retirement accounts and insurance policies. Let family members know the location of these and other important documents they will need when you die.
Fourth, determine to be a happy, joyful, and thankful person now and for the remainder of your life. Among the end-of-life regrets Bonnie Ware discovered in her research was the statement, “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” Remember that life involves many choices. So, choose to love more, be more appreciative, and to live positively as a joyful person.
Fifth, don’t allow yourself to be gripped by the comparison trap. What happens here is that you evaluate your own worth, achievements, and happiness by comparing yourself to others. If we live this way we develop feelings of inadequacy, envy, and low self-esteem. In our age of social media, the comparison trap looms large.
Sixth, choose not to be trapped by perfectionism. You know, the idea that you must be more, always work harder, look cool, calm and collected, or meet impossible standards. Perfectionism constantly whispers in our ears, “You’re not enough, try harder, try more.” Thomas Curran, author of “The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough,” believes perfectionism is the reason we see depression and burnout at record levels today.
Seventh, know that Jesus died for our hundreds of regrets and He can forgive every one of them. We can take comfort in knowing our past does not define who we are or what God is going to do in our future. We can set down our regrets today by giving them over to Christ. Jesus has covered our regrets with His abounding mercy, grace, and love.
If you are dealing with regret today, rest in the knowledge that God can help alleviate your regret. Refuse to allow yourself to come to the end of life as Jane Fonda said, “dying with lots of regrets.”
