You Really Do Matter
You Really Do Matter
A third-grade experience made me feel I mattered. Each morning, Mrs. Waite, my teacher, had each student read a Bible passage of their choice, then lead the class in the Model Prayer, and close by having the class recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
When it came my time to stand before the class, I fainted. Yes, I keeled over and passed out. Guess what Mrs. Waite did? She made me do the devotional time every morning for two weeks. She said, “Gary, we’ll get you over this.”
Neither Mrs. Waite nor I knew that one day God would call me to vocational ministry where every Sunday I would stand before a congregation and speak. When I think about what Mrs. Waite did for me, I know I mattered to her.
Think back to the first time you realized you mattered. What happened? How did you feel?
Likely, your moment of mattering impacted and moved you. No doubt, you felt important because of what someone else said or did.
What is mattering? Your actions and presence make a difference to others. People notice you are there. Others depend on you. Your contributions make an impact on others’ lives. Anti-mattering is the feeling that we are lost in the shuffle of life and that we are on the outside of things. You feel replaceable or forgettable. You remember those times when people really did need you, but not anymore.
This idea of mattering is a hot topic today. Mattering is especially important for empty nesters, retirees, and young adults figuring out what to do with their lives. These three life stages have a way of stripping the structures that make you feel that you really do matter. These three also contribute to mattering anxiety, that nagging fear that you don’t count anymore. You are fading into the background of people’s lives. You are becoming irrelevant.
Mattering is not the same as having a purpose or finding meaning in your life. Both purpose and meaning can be experienced alone. But mattering requires other people; it’s relational. Mattering provides an answer to one of life’s big-time questions: Did my life make a difference? If we feel our actions are valued, that others need us, and that others prioritize us we will know that we mattered.
In traditional retirement we talk about the three-legged stool: having enough money to live on, good health, and plenty of free time. The missing piece, however, is mattering. And it is the retirement fulfillment idea no one talks about.
Also, mattering has relevance for our older adult years. Our culture tends to treat responsibility to, and care for, older adults as an inconvenience or an obligation that we should either dodge or delegate to others. I know that as I grow older this idea of mattering is uppermost on my mind.
If you want to matter here are three cautions. One, don’t become self-absorbed and self-focused. Two, quit staring at your cell phone for extended periods of time. Third, refuse to compare yourself with other’s carefully presented social media experiences.
Here’s the good news for our concerns about mattering. You matter to God because He created you in His image. He has plans and purposes for you. He sees you as His prized possession. You are loved, important, valued, and esteemed by God.
It’s not about what you do, who you know, what you can’t do, nor who doesn’t know you. When you feel like you’re not worth much and that you don’t count, remember that God loves you.
